1. |
Even though I am tired,
02:50
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2. |
Shakey Knees
04:44
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|
Do you still hurt?
Because sometimes I let my guard down
I know it’s just a habit
I need to break down
But when you give someone years
and let them fill the blanks
it’s shattering
when they pull away
I set my ribs on the table
and my fingertips are touching my palms now
I brought all that I could,
but these are things we carry with us now
You left me to draw my own conclusions
despite my infatuation, you were as transparent as they came
You know how I feel about assumptions
I wish you could of told me face to face
Because now you’re written down
in my history
as the lover who had
shakey knees
I set my ribs on the table
and my fingertips are touching my palms now
I brought all that I could,
but these are things we carry with us now
These are the things we carry
with us, with us now
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3. |
Commitment Man
03:55
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|
I know you don’t think too much of yourself
You left your spirits out to dry and not a penny left for my thoughts
I know the rules, even if you don’t
I know that your opinion of yourself is worth more than mine
Will ever be
You say you’re not a relationship guy?
But baby you know that you can’t lie
I felt it in your kiss
I felt it in your kiss last night
And when you gave me your hand
I’m sorry to go off and ruin your plans
You know that you’re a commitment man
Commitment man, commitment man
Remove yourself I know you’re scared to realize,
Scared to feel right, scared to defy, you
Keep yourself tied up, keeping me out of
Your straight American lifestyle
Cause I will never understand how you stand
Under those flashing lights
Giving so much of yourself to this job
Giving so much of yourself to everyone else
Never attending to your own needs
Never resting your engine
When I tell you I love you, you won’t listen.
You’ll get a call and speed off to the rescue
Who told you that you were worthless?
Who told you that you’re not worth it?
You say you’re not a relationship guy
But baby you know that can’t lie
I felt it in your kiss
I felt it in your kiss last night
And when you gave me your hand
I’m sorry to go off and ruin your plans
You know that you’re a commitment man
Commitment man, commitment man
You say you’re not a relationship guy
But baby you know that can’t lie
I felt it in your kiss
I felt it in your kiss last night
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4. |
Knuckles
03:49
|
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|
I broke my knuckles on the pavement
Cause my knees just gave out on me
It might be just as well
That the road met my skin before you called out to me and
I never act out of anger
But some of the things you said,
I would have rather had put holes through the wall again
Than cripple my own head
Just like the leaves in autumn-
I am burning from the outside in-
i am, i am, i am
You are the humming In my head-
You are the static in the gaps
i am, i am, i am
Just like the leaves in autumn-
I am burning from the outside in-
i am, i am, i am
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5. |
Palms
03:38
|
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Well I've been gone for so long
I've been gone for so long
All but the bristle of your beard
has washed from my palms
Well I've been gone for so long
I've been gone for so long
I'm quick to set myself on fire
when I think I am wrong
Don't try to tell me what it means
to be a good friend
As you stand on the side
and watch over again
I see you there,
I see you there
I see you there,
I see you there
Well I've been gone for so long
I've been gone for so long
She says her fingertips
fit between my rib bones
Well I've been gone for so long
I've been gone for so long
As she measures
mountain tops in between them
So show me where you think
home is
You pointed down the street,
but I felt it in your hands
I see you there, I see you there
Cause I've lived and died in so many ways you will never understand
But that's alright, yeah that's alright
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6. |
||||
|
well the candles are making scents as I
remember the few nights we spent together
and the cameras are finally catching them
the games they tend to play with our lives
maybe I just needed some support
you never looked me in the eyes
your invisibility, disguised
but skin dictates, don‘t delegitimize
sadness, stress, and limited time
I can't even walk outside at night
I know I cried, but why would you lie
and sever all ties
i'll never hear you walk over
never a morning kiss goodbye
my fist was subtly glossed over
you never looked me in the eyes
i'll ride your bike across the boardwalk
i'll bang the door, you're sleep on the couch
i'll believe when you say we can talk
surprise on the stairs, a kiss on the mouth
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7. |
phone call
01:55
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8. |
Albuquerque
04:16
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[I was born facing the mountains,
and I haven't looked back
But now I'm standing in the ocean, ocean
I've got my old name back]
[I haven't felt this warm outside in a long time
Albuquerque sun I can't look at the skyline
Five days ago I was in your car feelin' fine
feelin' fine]
[I fell between the branches, branches
I fell with good intentions, tensions]
[I haven't wanted to be alive in a long time,
All of those scars still so fresh in my mind]
But I can tell that you felt the impact,
I can see right through what you lack
I can see right through what you lack
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9. |
Lockjaw
03:12
|
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I've got a scar across my cheek
dividing lockjaw and lack of sleep
I'm spitting blood between my teeth
with all the fire I will speak
I've been on the road so damn long
that home has become where my feet are
Don'tcha know that's how it's always been?
Home is where the heart is -
Not in a house but between my ribs
caught in the spaces kept from your hands
and fingertips
My god the air is getting bitter.
Something I could never sustain
Even with the way your voice echoed
with my cries reflecting off the bathroom sink
My god the air is getting bitter.
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10. |
Hardwood Floors
03:33
|
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I'm still wiping
the grit from my eyes
from the night I came over
to say goodbye again
I'm still wiping
the grit from my eyes
from the room full of smoke
you left me in last night
I can hear it now
I can hear you beat,
beat down the door
I found rhythm in the footsteps on the hardwood floors upstairs
I haven’t been blind for a while now
the static faded black for such a long time now
but it came back somewhere around the time you left
and I woke up and it was cold outside
I saw everything, mid-January ice
And I walked out on the lake for the very first time
i can hear it now
i can hear you beat,
beat down the door
i found rhythm in the hardwood floors upstairs
i woke up today,
I woke up to the cold, cold weather outside
and I walked over
the lake for the first time
I’m still wiping
the grit from my eyes
from the night i came over
to say goodbye again
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11. |
Out of Your Eyes
05:19
|
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|
by now i know what decay is,
by now I know
by now i know what decay is,
by now I know, I know
As I'm sitting in the skull growing towards where the light is
Out of your eyes and into the wilderness
Without reason and without forgiveness
The antlers cut by the saw in the garage
I wonder if one day I'll see my nature fall apart
Without the presence of your hands in the corner of my eyes
Without the tremble of nurture riding up my spine
By now I know I’m decaying, by now I know
Out of your eyes and into the wilderness
you have all my reason and all my forgiveness
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12. |
surely I will stay awake
03:18
|
|||
|
Two in the morning, my apartment a perfect pitch black, and I bolt upright from a dream. Sweat forming beads of hard ice across my brow. I’m thinking about hell fire. I’m thinking about Pascal, about his concrete proof that wagers I have more to lose should my unbelief be proven a house built on a flawed foundation than if it goes the other way around. Fear of damnation that creeps into my conscious like a thief in the night. Like a returning messiah come back when I am the least prepared. A flash flood of uncertainty and fear. I’m shivering in panic, because I know that I’m a sinner, though I’ve tried to live my life clean. Tried to honor a code, to never willfully cause anyone harm in any way. I think that should be enough, or at least that’s all any of us can ever hope to achieve, but what if I’m wrong? What if a drapery of fire and sulfur falls like acid rain? What if earnest sincerity and the will to leave the world a better place than it was when I was born into it is not enough to keep the flames off of my skin? There’s no light in my room at this hour. Even the windows are blacked out, swallowed by a suffocating darkness. And it’s true that I’m afraid sometimes. And it’s true that guilt and worry gnaw at my ribs like starving rats on a sinking ship. And it’s true that I shake in my sleep, fists clenched, teeth already gnashing, preemptively drawn up in the pugilist’s pose as if to save the Judgment Seat some time. But now look here, I’ve fallen asleep again and woken up to the sun. The literal dawn of a new day, and I can breathe after all. There’s no trace of smoke in my lungs, no taste of brimstone to be detected anywhere in the air, and my eyes are clear, and my hands are flat as a windless lake, peacefully laying at my side.
|
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Ghost Guest Worcester, Massachusetts
we like music and psychological development
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